The hol­i­day sea­son, which begins for most Amer­i­cans with Thanks­giv­ing and con­tin­ues through New Year’s Day, often brings unwel­come guests — stress and depres­sion. And it’s no won­der. In an effort to pull off a per­fect hol­i­day, you might find your­self fac­ing a dizzy­ing array of demands — par­ties, shop­ping, bak­ing, clean­ing and enter­tain­ing, to name a few. So much for peace and joy, right?

Actu­ally, with some prac­ti­cal tips, you can min­i­mize the stress and depres­sion that often accom­pany the hol­i­days. You may even end up enjoy­ing the hol­i­days more than you thought you would.
Rec­og­nize hol­i­day triggers

Learn to rec­og­nize com­mon hol­i­day trig­gers, so you can dis­arm them before they lead to a meltdown:

* Rela­tion­ships. Rela­tion­ships can cause tur­moil, con­flict or stress at any time, but ten­sions are often height­ened dur­ing the hol­i­days. Fam­ily mis­un­der­stand­ings and con­flicts can inten­sify — espe­cially if you’re thrust together for sev­eral days. On the other hand, fac­ing the hol­i­days with­out a loved one can be tough and leave you feel­ing lonely and sad.
* Finances. With the added expenses of gifts, travel, food and enter­tain­ment, the hol­i­days can put a strain on your bud­get — and your peace of mind. Not to men­tion that over­spend­ing now can mean finan­cial wor­ries for months to come.
* Phys­i­cal demands. Even die-hard hol­i­day enthu­si­asts may find that the extra shop­ping and social­iz­ing can leave them wiped out. Being exhausted increases your stress, cre­at­ing a vicious cycle. Exer­cise and sleep — good anti­dotes for stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. To top it off, burn­ing the wick at both ends makes you more sus­cep­ti­ble to colds and other unwel­come guests.

When stress is at its peak, it’s hard to stop and regroup. Try to pre­vent stress and depres­sion in the first place, espe­cially if the hol­i­days have taken an emo­tional toll on you in the past.

1. Acknowl­edge your feel­ings. If some­one close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, real­ize that it’s nor­mal to feel sad­ness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feel­ings. You can’t force your­self to be happy just because it’s the hol­i­day sea­son.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or iso­lated, seek out com­mu­nity, reli­gious or other social events. They can offer sup­port and com­pan­ion­ship. Vol­un­teer­ing your time to help oth­ers also is a good way to lift your spir­its and broaden your friend­ships.
3. Be real­is­tic. The hol­i­days don’t have to be per­fect or just like last year. As fam­i­lies change and grow, tra­di­tions and rit­u­als often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to cre­at­ing new ones. For exam­ple, if your adult chil­dren can’t come to your house, find new ways to cel­e­brate together, such as shar­ing pic­tures, emails or video­tapes.
4. Set aside dif­fer­ences. Try to accept fam­ily mem­bers and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expec­ta­tions. Set aside griev­ances until a more appro­pri­ate time for dis­cus­sion. And be under­stand­ing if oth­ers get upset or dis­tressed when some­thing goes awry. Chances are they’re feel­ing the effects of hol­i­day stress and depres­sion too.
5. Stick to a bud­get. Before you go gift and food shop­ping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your bud­get. Don’t try to buy hap­pi­ness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alter­na­tives: Donate to a char­ity in someone’s name, give home­made gifts or start a fam­ily gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside spe­cific days for shop­ping, bak­ing, vis­it­ing friends and other activ­i­ties. Plan your menus and then make your shop­ping list. That’ll help pre­vent last-minute scram­bling to buy for­got­ten ingre­di­ents. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Say­ing yes when you should say no can leave you feel­ing resent­ful and over­whelmed. Friends and col­leagues will under­stand if you can’t par­tic­i­pate in every project or activ­ity. If it’s not pos­si­ble to say no when your boss asks you to work over­time, try to remove some­thing else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don’t aban­don healthy habits. Don’t let the hol­i­days become a free-for-all. Overindul­gence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before hol­i­day par­ties so that you don’t go over­board on sweets, cheese or drinks. Con­tinue to get plenty of sleep and phys­i­cal activ­ity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for your­self. Spend­ing just 15 min­utes alone, with­out dis­trac­tions, may refresh you enough to han­dle every­thing you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Lis­ten to sooth­ing music. Find some­thing that reduces stress by clear­ing your mind, slow­ing your breath­ing and restor­ing inner calm.
10. Seek pro­fes­sional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find your­self feel­ing per­sis­tently sad or anx­ious, plagued by phys­i­cal com­plaints, unable to sleep, irri­ta­ble and hope­less, and unable to face rou­tine chores. If these feel­ings last for a while, talk to your doc­tor or a men­tal health professional.

Take con­trol of the holidays

Don’t let the hol­i­days become some­thing you dread. Instead, take steps to pre­vent the stress and depres­sion that can descend dur­ing the hol­i­days. With a lit­tle plan­ning and some pos­i­tive think­ing, you may find that you enjoy the hol­i­days this year more than you thought you could.